I was reading a book last night of which one chapter was on the ability of some scientists to create a whole “model” of something from just a tooth or bone fragment.

I occurred to me that we do this everyday!

We see one part or perspective of something and quickly arrange all the data in our mind, from our conditioning over the years of social, generational, emotional and physical influences and rapidly form our “Opinion” or “Perspective” of what it is.  We then justify it and reinforce to make sure it matches up our previous experiences.

We see a young lady struggling with threadbare little children, no wedding ring and what do we think?  Our perception takes over.  How often would you think that all have been sick and she is really just surviving at the moment, the children are sick, she can’t wear rings due to a skin condition and hubby is away for a week on a big business deal?  Or do we see something else?

Do we question what our mind is doing or do we just let the process happen, justify that is the way it is (Your Reality) and it must be true?

As with the scientists, they were able to create a whole “missing link” with the theory of human evolution, when really investigating the tooth and skull fragment they found would have identified a pig.  Sometimes we have our own agenda or goal to achieve or reality to protect that we can’t allow anything else in!

Food for thought!

What however if we could turn this process around or even be aware of it to question it and look for solutions out of it?  You may even come to the same result, however you question the validity of the information and the process by which you arrange and quantify it.

Could thinking about that lady and offering her a quick coffee break and help with the children be enough to change your perception of who she is.  You may even create a friendship and a valuable business contact with her husband for your business.

Being aware of our agendas and filters is the first step in the process to allowing us to process the information we receive.

Stop, Think, Respond.

John B

Apart from the initial limbic response of their brain to weigh up their environment and consider the immediate response of stay or fight/flight, there is a considerable portion of their communication style which may not connect to the way you are communicating your message or ideas?

I hear you saying, “what are you talking about” – EXACTLY.

As I may waffle on and include the details and facts of this, are you:

Just get on with it… give me the facts and move on OR

Yeah I hear you, but can’t we slow down a bit and get to know each other OR

Yep, Yep; Ok just shorten it and lets go for a drink so I can tell you a bit more about me OR

Yes, I understand that, maybe a question or two on the limbic system………….

Does one of these messages resonate with you?

This is effective communication, all I need to know is how I communicate best and then how you communicate best and adapt my style to match or at least get closer to the way you are communicating.

• Are you missing this with your niche target market and those ideal clients?
• Are you talking to them in your communication style and not theirs?
• Is the language structured to suit them and what they would prefer?

Communication (or lack of it) is the basis of all relationships and happens nearly as quickly as the Trust component.

To learn more about your Communication style, visit FACE-Matrix and do a quick, fun and easy to understand profile.

Have fun with it, share it with your friends and if you want to know more, then the best buy is the FACE, The Global Language e-book

Learn to love it and embrace it.

Let me know your results and what you think.

John Burkhardt - Amplio Business Solutions

Do you have a quiet place to relax? A place where you can be just yourself without the mask imposed on you by society?  Increasing in coaching we come across not only the lack of balance in our life/work but also the lack of balance in our relationships within both areas and the realization that we need to enhance that to better the relationship.

Some strategies we help implement are:

Time management – helping you learn and apply decision making, prioritizing and effective tracking and planning of your limited tool – Time!

Blocking out quiet time – in either your business or personal time to be just you and to do the things you want to do.  A time used for enjoyment, reflection and spiritual interaction.

Communication Profiling – participating in a fun communication tool which easily and effectively helps you recognise your communication type and also become clearer in identifying how others you communicate with regularly are wired and want to partake in communication.  Get a free communication profile at www.facematrix.com.au and let me know what you think via email. (P.S. also enter in the facilitators’ code of FF001AU.

Getting into a Support Triage – Have you got a support structure for your own sanity?  Do you have regular meetings with business colleagues’ or friends where you can get impartial input into your challenges and decisions knowing that they will be open, honest and share willingly whilst respecting your privacy and confidentiality?

The implementation of these strategies is to get you walking in the sunshine enjoying your life as it was intended.

As is usually the case in coaching, most clients have 3 main goals to work on and in nearly every case 1 or 2 of them are personal goals on health, fitness or weight loss etc.

The main challenge with getting fit is breaking the emotional and physical habit of doing nothing or little for so long.

Bite it off in little chunks.  If this week you can manage at least one 30 minute walk (and survive) then we can repeat that and build on it.

The same goes for drinking more water, reducing snacks etc. A little bit at a time.

Massive change will put the body into stress and also flight mode to push you back emotionally into your comfort zone (the habit you have formed)

ACTION STEPS

Working with a Coach or a Consultant makes a difference!

Make the effort to record where you are now, where you want to be and the gap that separates them.

How are you going to achieve it?

John Burkhardt – Amplio Business Solutions

I found a book at QBD for $6.99 called Creating Magic by Lee Cockerell, based on the principles taught at the world-renowned Disney Institute.

It is a bargain at this price!  I have just finished reading the first couple of chapters but already it has great insights on leadership and how different methods affect your results in relating to people.

Well worth the time to go and get it!

Part of the reality of dealing with any business is that a lot of times, you come across a gatekeeper.  Someone whose role or assumed role is to control access to the decision maker.  Unfortunately these relationships need to be handled with kid gloves.

Ever tried to contact someone in an organisation and been stonewalled at the reception level or personal assistant level trying to get to the decision maker.

The first part of the process is to start to build your trust and relationship with the gatekeeper.  Irrespective of how much power this person wields, they can make life really difficult for you even if you get to the decision maker.  Lost or late messages, misplaced invitations, emotional blackmail to the decision maker and the list goes on.

The building of trust with this person will allow you to gain uninterrupted access to the decision maker in the future and will also be with their blessing, so any decisions coming back the other way will usually be gratefully actioned within a realistic time frame.

This relationship building however may take some time.  You may even wish to back off and spend some energy elsewhere before tackling it again.  It is amazing how backing off on a prospect can sometimes tip the process in your favor.

The key to building a relationship with a gatekeeper is to take a genuine interest in them, their work, their hobbies, bring them coffee and genuinely respect their time.  The most common wall will be “I’m too busy” or a similar response.   Be patient, make sure to leave a favorable impression each time and tell them when you will be next calling or visiting, put it in your diary in front of them and move on.

At the end of the day, don’t let them upset you.  They are just doing their job (perceived or not).

Sometimes you just have to be creative to get to the decision maker!

An alternative look at this is:

Not dealing with gatekeepers or someone else who is too stupid to engage professionally.  Why butt your head against the wall? Move on!

John Burkhardt – Amplio Business Solutions